Searching.
by Trivher
Summary: It's a Carey story. Well song-fic technically. But whatever.


Fairy Tails and Castles

The song is called "Fairy Tails and Castles."It's by Life House fromBlyss-Diff's Lucky Day.Good luck finding it!Disney.That's all I'm saying.  
  
  
_He says, he looks in the mirror, and he can't tell anymore,  
who he really is and who they believe him to be.  
He says he walks a thin line between what is and what could be,  
and he's getting closer to something he can't understand._

I used to want to be a rocket scientist, fly and live on the moon.Then I decided I would be a fireman instead, and drive a cool looking truck.My mama wanted me to walk this path and my father another.They never paid attention to my dreams; to them they were ramblings of a clueless child.I was too young to understand, they knew what was best for me.Or did they?They failed to notice when I was still being shaped into the image they so desired I was dying for a way out.  
  
_'Cause there's a crack in his plastic crown   
and his thrown of ice is melting.   
He climbed his latter there was nothing there  
and now its a long way down.  
'cause on and on and on he goes dancing on the grave  
of what he thought was still alive.  
On and on and on he goes   
dancing in mansions made of twigs  
and castles made of sand._

I didn't like the suit and tie businessman picture they wanted me be.It wasn't me!I was born with a free spirit much like my dad was before mom made him straighten up.They never spoon fed Clu information about law schools and making good grades.As first-born I had a lot to live up too.Things I didn't want to live up to.So I left.Ruined my parents' life savings, all their second and third jobs and I walked away from this perfect picture they had of me.I had to find myself before I was gone.  
  
_He says his head is filled with cartoons fairy tails  
and he's trapped inside a dungeon of dolls with smiles on their faces.  
He's built a pretty cage his shows on a beautiful stage  
with candy coated prison bars and chains that look like jewelry._

But they loved me so much!Only wanted the best.Afraid my silly dreams would hurt me in the end.Don't I deserve to feel the pain of reaction and failure?How else will I learn and grow from it?I hate this part of life, no longer a little but yet not ready to walk around without holding someone's hand.Keeping my decision under secrecy was the hardest thing I have ever done.Even thought they bug me at times I still love them dearly.Whoever said gowning up was easy didn't know what they were talking about!Then I meet it.Seen it, touched it several times before, but never like this.Music was in my veins.This would be my life.  
  


'Cause there's a crack in his plastic crown   
and his thrown of ice is melting.   
He climbed his latter there was nothing there  
and now its a long way down.  
'cause on and on and on he goes dancing on the grave  
of what he thought was still alive.  
On and on and on he goes   
dancing in mansions made of twigs  
and castles made of sand.

Another lie, creating stories of people who I never meet isn't an easy task.Soon I was confusing the tales and events not sure what person got what version.They didn't seem to notice.Too pleases with my good grades.I never made decent marks in secondary school why would I now?Still I was their pride and joy so for them it just made sense.I shouldn't be scared of their reaction, plus they'd get over it.Yet talking to them, seeing the respect in their eyes, the look I had been dying to see, how could I?  
  


'Cause he lives inside of fairy tails and castle land  
there's room inside for false expectations and illusions  
  


I told Clu first.I told him everything.We never had your typical run of the mill brother relationship.I had his back and he always had mine.Maybe because being so close age forged this bond, maybe it was something more.I never question though.He promised to help keep our parents from finding out until I was ready.Covering for me when they try to call my dorm and hear I moved out.We practiced that scene a thousand times; he was to say that was roommate playing a joke.I think my parents are starting to catch on.Then I told Molly, I don't know why.I always felt she was someone I could confide in, but could I really trust her?

'Cause there's a crack in his plastic crown   
and his thrown of ice is melting.   
He climbed his latter there was nothing there  
and now its a long way down.  
'cause on and on and on he goes dancing on the grave  
of what he thought was still alive.  
On and on and on he goes   
dancing in mansions made of twigs  
and castles made of sand.

I know I could.She wanted the best for me, much like they did.But unlike them she actually cared about what I wanted, understood my life was mine to map out.Didn't yell at me saying what a stupid decision and my life was over.She actually congratulated me!Can you imagine that?!An adult told me she understood my decision of quitting school.Something my parents, more importantly mother would never say!I'd get the lecture of the century; they'd try to punish me like a little boy.If they had allowed me to dream and create fantasies this never would of happened!  
  


On and on and on he goes…..

I don't know if Molly or Clu told.They swore not to, but how else could she of known?It doesn't matter; the cat was out of the bag with no turning back.Still I was torn from wanting to scream it's my life! And I'm so sorry!I don't there's ever a right thing to say in times like this, avoiding it certainly didn't help matters.Life can't be lived by regrets though.Would they ever understand my passion of the arts?Then the moment I was born to complete fell at my feet, I was to play at a crowd larger then 15 people!I was terrified but didn't let it stop me, I had to shine.My life counted on it.When the moment ended the smile and look of respect in their eyes told me.I had nothing to fear, it would all be ok.


End file.
